“AITA for telling my coworker her quirky lunch habit is really distracting?”
I work in an office with about 15 people. One of my coworkers has this habit of narrating everything she’s eating out loud. Not in a joking way. She’ll literally say stuff like:
“Mmm, spicy little pickle today”
“Okay, let’s give this baby carrot a crunch”
Or my personal favorite:
“What’s that? You’re just a sad sandwich? Don’t worry, I’m gonna eat you anyway.”
I thought it was funny at first, but it happens every single day and it’s getting kind of weird. She’s not talking to anyone btw.
She just narrates it to herself like she’s doing voiceover for her own cooking show. Last week during lunch break, I finally said this to her: “Hey, no offense, but do you realize you talk to your food out loud every day?”
She just laughed it off but seemed pretty embarrassed about it. Now she barely says anything at lunch and a few coworkers said I killed the vibe and that she was just being quirky.
I feel kind of bad now. Ididn’t mean to shame her, but it was honestly getting distracting and hard to ignore. AITA for saying something?
Internet Joined the Conversation and Gave a Response
pahshaw wrote:
This has big ADHD energy, both the initial food narration goofery, and the big shame/embarrassment reaction.
A lot of people are responding like she’s one of those gross creepy middle-aged food tiktokers, but she’s not.
Truly obnoxious people double down on their behavior instead of dying of embarrassment and never doing it again.
It doesn’t feel good to make someone shut up, at least not if you are a reasonable person, which you seem to be. However you have also given her a vital heads-up that the workplace is not a safe place to unmask, and that’s true like, 99 times out of 100.NAH
ScrimshawPie wrote
This. If it wasn’t OP at a mostly tolerant office, it would have been someone else down the line in possibly worse circumstances.
elwynbrooks wrote:
Man, that is a grim work environment where someone can’t just be a little goofy with their food sometimes
ajjablue wrote:
But it seems like ‘sometimes’ wouldn’t be an issue. OP even found it funny at first. It seems that it’s every time she eats (as OP tells it – and I take his word for it since I don’t know better).
I can see that becoming quite grating in an office setting reasonably quickly tbh.
Human_Tumbleweed_384 wrote:
I was also thinking “she sounds neurodiverse” but I was leaning Autistic. Either way…. I think it would actually be way better to support her as she is and I think it was an asshole move.
OP’s comment very clearly communicated to her that her authentic self was not welcome.
There are so many other ways that she is very likely to shut down now. I am so thankful that I work in a space that is welcoming to disabilities and quirks.
firenamedgabe wrote:
I’m camp three, I would be ashamed and embarrassed, but would have tripled down on it cause I’m not hurting anyone and fuck that dude.
PorchCat0921 wrote:
I instantly thought the same, and that maybe this was a self-soothing stim she decompressed mid -day with.
Om_Chianti wrote:
I agree with most of this except I do think work was a safe place for OP’s coworker to unmask. No one else brought it up. People were not making fun of her behind her back.
And a few people even chastised OP for “killing the vibe” — meaning they enjoyed her fun narrations.What she was doing seemed so pure and harmless. She was happy and safe and OP ruined it. OP: YTA. Apologize.
Last-Laugh7928 wrote:
it is perfectly okay to be annoyed by someone talking out loud in a public space, even if it’s harmless lol
Om_Chianti wrote:
You can feel annoyed, but you don’t have the right to force others to be quiet based on your own personal mood. You don’t have the right to shame others.
Ginger_spice-13 wrote:
My question is how big is your staff room where you eat lunch? Is it possible you can just move to the other end of the room?
Also how loud is she taking? I’m assuming other people are talking to each other, is she speaking any louder than any of the other conversations happening?
Is it the fact she’s not talking to another person that is bothering you or the fact that she is being loud and disrespectful?
If it’s the second then yes that deserves a conversation. If she’s the same volume as other conversations happening then YTA
babyeventhelosers wrote:
YTA you didn’t need to call her out like that. If you would have told her that privately, it would have been fine, but part of you saying it in front of everyone was to shame her a little, and it worked, but now you feel bad about it.
If you’re going to go for the public call-out, this is the way it feels afterward. You should have found a way to say that respectfully and privately.
Assume good characters. No one has the energy to go out of their way to be annoying every day at lunch just to be off-putting.
Frequent_Alfalfa_347 wrote:
Yeah, YTA for how you said it. Shaming sucks. And you may not have intended it that way, but that’s very likely how it made her feel. Private would’ve been better.
Always praise in public, critique in private.
Over_Response_8468 wrote:
Did OP really say anything that bad? They just asked if the person realized she was doing it.
That doesn’t seem harmful at all. In hindsight, it seems like the woman became embarrassed and now OP feels bad but was what they said really that bad?
Swimming_Weekend6668 wrote:
It’s a stupid and rude question. Of course she can hear herself, she’s obviously not deaf. Asking the question that way is basically the same as asking someone if they are stupid when they are just doing something silly or fun.
Over_Response_8468 wrote:
They didn’t ask the person if she was able to hear herself, they asked if she realized she was doing it. Which can be a fair question.
I talk to myself a lot at home and don’t always realize it until I’ve been speaking for awhile, or until my husband asks a question about something I’ve said.
RoboFeanor wrote:
I would say YTA if it was a pre-lunch ritual and happened once per meal.
If it was ongoing throughout the lunch so that it derails other conversations then NTA, something needs to be said because it’s (lightly) antisocial behaviour that is probably annoying and she should work on it.
Cool_Relative7359 wrote:
YTA. She wasn’t hurting you or anyone else. If it bothered you, and no one else, you should have removed yourself or used earplugs or something. Like seriously, you sound miserable.
Let people have their harmless quirks. Stop dimming the light in them.
Lizlizlizzyliz wrote:
YTA. Just because you’re annoyed doesn’t mean someone else was doing something wrong or is inherently annoying.
Just because someone seems weird doesn’t mean they’re doing anything wrong or are inherently weird.If this was a common staff break area, she would have just as much right to be in there and talk in an “inside voice.”
If you can tune out other coworkers’ conversations, this should be no different. If you can’t tune out or are bothered by others talking in a common break area, that’s a you problem.
The only legitimate justification for mentioning it would be out of actual concern for her or genuine curiosity and should have been done in private.
Or if you didn’t want to do that, you could have even asked a boss to check in with her to make sure she’s okay?
Even that’s a tad on the cowardly side if you ask me, but you could have couched it with something like “hey boss, I don’t know my coworker that well, so am not sure how to bring this up, could you maybe check in with her about this?”
To begin the long Minnesota goodbye of my rant, you are not the czar of acceptable behavior! Seriously, why would you think you have more of a right to her not talking in the break area than she has to talk in the break area??
It sounds like you could use a dose of humility, empathy, practicing your own coping skills, and a huge reminder that other people get to take up space in common areas even if they’re “weird.”
It would also behoove you to recognize that you probably do things that annoy others or that people find weird.
If you’ve not been approached about it, perhaps it’s because others had the maturity to manage themselves appropriately and not passive-aggressively imply that you should mold yourself to their definition of comfortable/normal/acceptable.
sra19 wrote
I’ve also lived alone for a while and I never spoke to my food, until one day during Covid lockdown, after my first bite I told my sandwich, “you’re so delicious.“ I didn’t even realize that I was talking to my food until after I did it. 🙄
It was a really good peanut butter and jelly sandwich.
chronically_varelse wrote:
Yeah I’ve definitely been weirdly talkative during the cooking process. But not the eating part. Yet still I sympathize.
ThatBChauncey wrote:
When I visit where I used to live in FL I talk to my pub subs like Fat Bastard from Austin Powers 🤣 Get in my belly pub sub, I’m gonna eat yooouuu!
ThisIsBerk wrote:
I haven’t lived alone in 11 years and I talk to almost everything in my house. I may need to dwell on this for a bit…
Massive-Relation-210 wrote:
One of my bffs does this too 😭 I can’t say I’ve ever enjoyed food enough to let out an audible moan over it
OP Said:
Lmao! I had a roommate in college who would chew his food loudly and with an open mouth so you could see the mashed food inside. Plus he ogled at everyone’s food while doing so. Like he wants to have what we’re having.
47sHellfireBound wrote:
Does she live alone? I feel like she lives alone.
OP Replied:
From what I know she lives with her mom and a dog.
WeMiPl wrote:
I’ve lived alone for a decade. I may chat with my cats but I’ve never tried to have a conversation with a pickle before.
OP replied:
I too live alone. I sometimes say stuff like “oh yes that’s what I’m talking about” when I eat my favorite food, but ONLY when I’m alone at home.
SomeGuyClickingStuff wrote:
Someone told me it’s ok to talk to yourself. Just don’t answer back.
Kind_Substance_2865 wrote:
You can answer back, but don’t argue.
HappyTurtleButt wrote:
You can argue, but don’t lose
In the comments, most people thought OP (the person who posted) was kind of mean and YTA (You’re The Asshole).
They said the coworker’s lunch habit was weird but not hurting anyone. People felt OP could have been nicer or just ignored it.
A lot said it wasn’t cool to make someone feel bad for being a little different at lunch. They thought OP made things awkward when it didn’t need to be.
Sources: Reddit
